On Fathers

Great Falls Sunrise, January 2023

This post feels a daunting one due to the impossibility of attempting to put into words just what a father is. Being in the presence of your father, you feel safe. Protected. Shielded from the world. The quiet assurance that no matter where you would roam or what you would be met with, you would be safe in his watchful eye.

There are a myriad ways to try to put into words the feeling that comes from your father. Various things come to mind, but at the core of this stream of thought is the selflessness and unconditional strength, pillar of support and love that a father emits. The great poet Iqbal summarizes this selflessness well:

What is love? Love is not a collection of words, a sonnet, music or art.

Love is the act of you not existing so that someone else can

-Muhammad Iqbal, 1877-1938

You not existing so that someone else can - the ultimate love. A father’s own livelihood put second to his child’s. A feeling that only a parent could comprehend. Poets such as Iqbal have put feelings to pen to help us understand love in its most ineffable form. Singers have also captured the feeling in lyrics such as the Michelle Branch verse “I wanted to fly, so you gave me your wings.” The feeling that the strength you draw from your father is limitless, and that with him, you can soar anywhere.

You never consider for once that him giving you his wings is a transfer of energy, you think that his supply of energy is limitless. That even as the years roll by and numeric age increases, that he is always invincible. That he gave you his wings so you would get stronger, but the thought that his energy source goes down as a result never even crosses your mind. It’s interesting, this feeling you have in childhood that your father is invincible never leaves you. It becomes impossible, then, to ever picture a day without him.

You believe in your bond so much, that divine intervention will always make sure it remains. And in the event that such divine intervention may not intercept an impending hardship, your bond is so powerful that you could even will that hardship away.

A father - the strongest, and warmest, shoulder. Steadfastly there. Quietly courageous. The one to take all the blows, fight all the battles of the world in secret, so you remain unscathed. The reason that the concept of rockbottom does not even exist in your life, because you know he will always catch you before you hit the ground.